; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
