too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
