so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
