i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
