Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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