Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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