So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS