If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize