I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
