i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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