Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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