So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
