At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
