Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
