my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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