Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
