Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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