I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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