everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
