So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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