he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you win again, gameday.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
