SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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