he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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