Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize