I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Nicole vs. Life
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
