you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
