I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
