Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
