She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
