the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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