I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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