You smell like stripper and shame
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
