its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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