Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
