his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you didnt know i had herpes?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
