You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
