dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
