So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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