you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
