Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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