she was so not down for the gang bang
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
