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  • My wife always gives me head for a while works good

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 8:41pm
  • Id I were you, I'd be chasing around for a pretzel. They are always hard. Unless of course its a soft served with cheese. In that case..... Yummmm.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 7:05pm
  • get what up? Is he a magician.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 7:05pm
  • i'm just glad i'm not alone here.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 8:06pm
  • Yeah something is wrong with u! If he can't get it up he better be amazing at something else.....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 7:15pm
  • He can get it up?? im pretty sure It's called cocaine!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 10:57am
  • This is so the situation Im in hahaha

    Submitted by Princessnikki on Jan 11, 11 at 9:22pm
  • hey this happend to me once givem. a break

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 11:05pm
  • I'm Rick James. Bitch.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 7:23pm
  • Yes u do or she would have bitch slapped me for being a pizza humping fuckface

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 11:12pm
  • I feel like this text was stolen from my outbox...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 7:13pm
  • dang. i've honestly never been too drunk to fuck.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 7:34pm
  • yes, something is wrong with you. F U G L Y!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 7:03pm
  • fuck him with it soft

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 7:02pm
  • 1st HAHAHAHAHAAH!!! GO PRETZELS!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 7:47pm
  • 9:59 must be cranky because hes thirsty from all those pretzels. mmm

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 10:44pm
  • Agreed 715. Like making pretzels

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 7:22pm
  • 7:47 shut the fuck up about the fucking pretzels! I am going to shove those damn pretzels so far down your fucking throat you'll be shitting salt grains for weeks!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 9:59pm
  • Why do I find this cute?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 7:13pm
  • HAHA yes umm definitely been there.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 11:16pm
  • Pretzel guy, so hot right now, so hot.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 7:10pm
  • Don't make fun bitch! You can't spell bed without ED!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 1:21am
  • Probably sexualy exhausted from jackin off to ur pics. Iv had it happen. Kind of embarrasing but my gf laughed it off and gave me a bj

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 11:07pm
  • Damn, ur proll right

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 7:01pm
  • 7:50 High-5 me right now.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 4:36am
  • What are you chasing him for exactly? Pretzel guy rox

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 6:54am
  • Sadly enough I'm in the same boat.... I am very much so amazed...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 8:02pm
  • I'm squeezing this shit out so hard it's hurting my back muscles. Anyone ever have that?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 4:39am
  • i for one am super excited that she spelled definitely the right way. rare occurrence right there

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 7:50pm
  • Slip him some viagra. ah the miracles of modern science.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 7:04pm
  • Ahhh good old whiskey dick gets ya every time

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 7:32pm
  • I wonder if my girlfriend posted this...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 11:55pm
  • he can't get it up with YOU...he probably has no problem getting it up for a young babe with a nice rack, no jelly thighs, a firm ass that will swallow or take it up the ass. If you're a sea hag should you be surprised that he can't get it up? Put some prime pussy out in front of him and watch the johnson stand to attention

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 8:37pm
  • Hey we've all been there at some point in time

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 7:12pm
  • sure its not whiskey dick?? cause if i'm to drunk to even stay awake its kinda hard to keep it up.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 7:31pm
  • I love you pretzel guy

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 7:06pm
  • had this same thing happen to me saturday. thank god i'm not alone in this.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 11:41pm
  • There are such chronic lushes in this world that they cannot achieve or mIntain an erection due to all the damage done from all the toxins in their bodies. Neurologically broken from a Chronic alcohol poisoning. Doesn't usually hit til at least 5 or more years of chronic abuse. These are loser's losers. She is in deep shir

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 11:19pm
  • hahaha this could have been written by me a year ago hahhahaha dumbass girls....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 9:51pm
  • he's probably got money. Needy bitches will offer to fuck anything that has money. Even limp-dicked slobs

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 8:15am
  • By any chance does the guy mentioned in this text live in Venice Beach...??

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 9:46pm
  • 1- You're a fat slob. 2- Your face looks like roadkill.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 8:00am
  • Do you happen to have an alibi?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 11:08pm
  • He can't get it up because OP is FUGLY...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 8:13pm
  • I love a man this could be about. and yes, he is goood at other things... ( :

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 12:24am
  • this is just what i needed to see today. whew!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 9:51pm
  • 7:34 where can we meet!!!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 12:51am
  • Pretzel guy. Who are you?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 7:20pm
  • He could be an undercover junkie

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 7:03pm
  • i totally feel you... makes you feel like crap too..

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 12:52am
  • 11:07 that's beast!!! She blowed u for jackin off! Epic win

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 8:59pm
  • Nobody ever texted this... Fake as hell. Copy/paste this until tfln goes back to the old days of real texts and real mods, not just the friends of the staff.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 8:06pm
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