That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
