Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
