i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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