reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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