whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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