You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i think i just lost a toe
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
