Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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