Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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