i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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