So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Randomize
