I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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