i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
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Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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