'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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