After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
