how can u be prego again
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
