Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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