Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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