i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
