Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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