jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I need water and some morals
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
