Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
