it's too hot outside to masturbate.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Randomize
