there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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