Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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