I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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