god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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