He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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