im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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